Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
