I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
