Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
