i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
