Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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