so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
