Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i just google imaged poop.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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