You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
