i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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