It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
