We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
