so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize