I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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