I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
