people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize