Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
