I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
