I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Enjoy the penises
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
