nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
