she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
do nipples grow back?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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