office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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