Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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