she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
