If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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