what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
