the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
