CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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