margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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