Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
