I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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