Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just forgot I was standing up.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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