so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
