Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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