Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
