i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
