you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
