honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
