i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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