...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
