They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
