so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
