May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
