Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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