I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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