the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
