Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
