I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Randomize