Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i will never coherently bang her
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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