I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize