I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
