what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
