God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
