theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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