The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
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