oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
