"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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