Someone shit on the floor
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
